Reb Zalman On Conversion And Renewal

Reb Zalman says: 

“As part of what I consider to be my ethical will and summation of my life, I want to bring to your attention my experience and thoughts on conversion. 

“We have always taken responsibility for conversion and we have always taken responsibility for our converts, not only with regard to this incarnation, but also regarding previous and subsequent incarnations.”

Please read the following words from Reb Zalman.  If you wish to add your thoughts, please do so in the comments section at the end.  Gabbai Seth Fishman, BLOG Editor.

B’nai Noach Within Our Communities:
Gerey Tzedek / Converts
And Gerey Toshav / Non-Converts

by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi

Table of Contents:

Ger Tzedek or Ger Toshav?
Some Guidelines
Raise Expectations
Include A Klall Yisrael Perspective
Ensure Adequate Education and Preparation
Provide Supports
In The Case of Intermarriage
Neshamot / Souls
Holocaust
Jews In Passing
Hyphenation
Conclusion

Ger Tzedek or Ger Toshav?

Recently, when individuals who wished to join the Jewish people as gerim tzedek / converts approached me, there were some with whom I wanted to discuss the possibility that they had other, better options as gerim toshav / non-converted members of the community. 

In some cases, ger tzedek, is not the best decision.  There are ways to join with us that can satisfy the needs of some prospective converts, especially if they are wanting to feel a belonging, a welcoming, and to have opportunities to participate in worship and fellowship.  All this can be done without full conversion.  For example, we can point to the references in various psalms of groups of God-fearers who have been offered a voice in the worship since Temple times.  So with some of those who approached me, I suggested that it would be better that they organize themselves in such a circle of God-fearers.

Some Guidelines

I want to make sure that we properly undertake the serious responsibility for both the process of conversion and the needs of the prospective converts. 

The following guidelines, based upon my experiences as Rabbi and pastor, will help ensure that the context for these decisions is set appropriately:

Raise Expectations

Of the one seeking conversion, we’ve expected not more than the average observance to be found in the members of our renewal congregations.  This is not enough. 

A conversion warrants a significant change to the convert’s life.  When our renewal congregation only meets once a week, we do not have an opportunity to be enough present to make the necessary demands for change.  The Jewish way is something more than a weekly attendance at a service.

For some of these would-be converts, we must add into our conderations other possibilities for affiliation and participation besides full membership in Klall Yisroel / recognition as a Jew by all Jews. 

I found, for instance, there have been some converts who have not learned about T’fillin, and who have not acquired their own sets.  Some did not know of the Tallit Katan under the shirts, a particular observance, but also a symbol of observance.  For example, it reminds of the requirement for a greater adherence in the laws of Kashrut after the conversion. 

In some cases, the conversion has provided no more than a making of social welcoming for the convert, and nothing extra in terms of observance at home.

We must set high expectations and then follow through to ensure they would be met.

Include A Klall Yisrael Perspective

A convert joins more than a congregation.  A convert also joins Klall Yisrael, an entire people.

It would be helpful for all potential converts to take a pilgrimage to Israel beforehand to spend some time living with only Jews.  They would then be able to see how they will fare in a constant enclave of fellow Jews. If a full conversion wasn’t really in the cards for them, it would be better to elicit a nonverbal resistance up front, (one that might begin to manifest if they changed milieu as I’m suggesting), rather than emerging after the conversion, later on in life.  If it happens later, they may come to subsequently regret having converted.  It is better to be more thorough up front, with more exploration in advance of a decision.

In addition, in the presence of Jews from different milieus than one finds in renewal congregations, it is more difficult to experience a sense of community.  This can help the prospective convert to see if the feelings of wanting to join remain after these kinds of experiences as well.

In theory, something similar could possibly be accomplished without the trip to Israel, by visiting a variety of synagogues.  However, there are many locales where this will not work because of  a homogeneous element there sheltering the convert from the kind of experience I would wish them to have while evaluating choices.  For example, Boulder, Colorado, is one such community; a community with an element of homogeneity.  Because we Jews of Boulder meet one another constantly, because we find ourselves together regardless of our affiliations, we have become more homogeneous than Jews in general, and one will find this whether one visits ChabadAysh Kodesh (modern Orthodox), all the way up to Har Hashem (Reform) and Humanistic Judaism.  In addition, one won’t encounter Black Hats, people with peyyot, women with head coverings and Shaytls and other forms of stricter observance in Boulder.  Nor would the convert encounter stresses that might arise in spending time with Jews from other ethnic and geographic backgrounds.  For example, one does not encounter Yemenites or Moroccan Jews here.  So depending on the locale and the variety of Jews present, even visiting a wide range of synagogues will not give the convert an experience of the diversity of Klall Yisrael, and the real and visceral feel of what it is to be a Jew among a wide variety of fellow Jews as a pilgrimage to Israel might.

Most importantly, with respect to the marriageability a conversion effects for the convert’s progeny, conversion thereby involves the entire community of Israel. This is why it is especially critical that we not ignore a sense of Klall Yisrael in dealing with converts.  On the surface, it may appear inequitable to demand a greater level of observance from a convert than the norm for a renewal congregation.  Nonetheless, from the context of Klall Yisrael, we will need the stricter observance whether or not the renewal congregation’s observance is  laissez-faire and lax.  From the perspective of seriousness with which one takes one’s Judaism, there is a significant difference between the one with a biological heritage and the one who is joining our fold from another biological background, and the latter must, therefore, take it seriously.  And, as mentioned above, there are also ways for the converts to be gerey toshav, to be in connection with the community without full conversion.

Ensure Adequate Education and Preparation

In most cases, I find that the education and preparation of converts is insufficient. Often they have not acquired the basic skills to participate in a worship service and to follow along in the Hebrew reading of the Torah.

Also, it is important that the preparation of the convert includes an understanding of the expectations to be placed on the convert at the moment of conversion:  In the conversion ritual, the convert will dip in the miqveh, (and for an already circumcised male, he will also have a drop of covenant blood drawn from him), and the convert will have chosen the name by which s/he will be called to the Torah. 

The expectations must have been made very clear to him or her.   From that time on, the ger tzedek now must begin to practice some of the commandments in which s/he had not previously engaged.  For example, at the moment of conversion, I like to see that a garment with the fringes was prepared for the male to wear right afterwards.  I  like to see that a pair of T’fillin were made available by the person for himself or herself, having ordered them previously, before the Gerut.  Going to the expense of getting T’fillin is a sign of the readiness to participate in the life of Mitzvot.  For women, assuming such practices as taking challah, using the miqveh and lighting of candles should commence at this time.  For the person who completes conversion, I also want to see a kind of “dowry gift” made to one or more Jewish institutions, gifts in the direction of TorahAvodah and G’millut Hassadim. These will reinforce our sense of the person’s having made a righteous beginning to his or her conversion.

Provide Supports

For some years now, I have been asking converts to form, among themselves, something that would be a league of recent converts, for mutual support.  I’ve spoken of it as a kind of “Converts Anonymous,” a group engaged in being able to help one another when Christmas or Easter or any difficult season comes. They could also help with situations that may arise in family matters related to the conversion, matters having to do with the raising of children, or in the case of intermarriage, dealing with the non-Jewish spouse. 

In The Case of Intermarriage

Intermarriage creates special considerations. If the spouse is already Jewish then I would like to help the convert to be able to complete the process as soon as we feel, in good conscience, that s/he can do so.  However, if the spouse will not go through the conversion, if only the one member of the household will convert, then I must say that, based upon my experience in pastoral caring, I would have grave concerns.  Before rushing to conversion for only one of the partners, I would want to see a serious discussion occur between the spouses.  There are implications for such a situation, such as the fact that the convert will be buried in one cemetery, the spouse in another. I’d want to make sure this was brought to their attention for discussion, to make sure that they are going into this arrangement with open eyes.  Furthermore, one would be obligated to instruct them that once a person has converted, the relationship with the non-converted spouse is fraught with Halakhic problems. So in most of these cases, it seems that it would still be better to steer the partner wanting to become a Jew to, rather, become a Ger Toshav.

Neshamot / Souls

We must also put our attention to levels beyond the conventional ones.  There are more profound issues dealing with the souls of the individuals with whom we interact for conversion. 

Many performing conversions do not sufficiently consider the archetypal connection that the soul of the prospective convert must make with Knesset Yisrael / the collection of Jewish souls.  Conversion is something that touches more than a person’s conscious and verbal levels. We often speak of these matters in terms of the individual’s Shoresh Han’shamah / the archetypal place from which that individual’s particular soul’s nourishment comes. 

As I’ve said, Gerey Toshav can be connected to us in deep ways and invisible ways, (e.g., what Jean Houston has called “Psycho-Semitic” souls), without ever being Gerey Tzedek

There are many levels and layers and, one needs to consider every case deeply to be sure that it really warrants a conversion.  A good thing to pay attention to is whether there is any contact or connection with a Jewish genetic memory.  We are taking a great deal of responsibility for our converts, and not just for the current incarnation.

Holocaust

Since we live after the Holocaust and its mass destruction of Jews, it is also important, with respect to the prospective convert, to check whether we are dealing with a recycled soul, one who in a former life was a Jew.  If this can be determined, then it will help provide clarity that conversion is the right step.

Jews In Passing

Sometimes, a person has a relationship with their Judaism that was to last only for a short time, a temporary relationship.  The Sufis have a name for this type of clarity called Hal /short-lived, passing epiphanies.  The other Sufi term, in contrast, is Maqam, which indicates a structural stability and permanence. 

In Hassidism and in Lurianic Kabbalah there is a term called Ibbur, (from the verb meaning to become pregnant), used in the sense of a temporary visitation of a holy soul to help an individual through a crisis.  Such a condition is usually short-lived and the Ibbur later leaves. 

It is not easy to discern such events in people’s lives, especially in the case of spiritually advanced people who gained great soul progress in other disciplines before they seek to come into Judaism.  In some cases, they may just be currently looking for some “soul chromosomes” with us, but from the perspective of an entire lifetime, the long-term status of that person really wouldn’t be requiring a change.  It will require subtle distinctions to come up with the right answer for these individuals.

Hyphenation

There may also be some individuals whose conversion represents a kind of dual membership.  The person may feel guided to be “also-Jewish.”

There is no halakhic precedent allowing for this.  In the past it was clear that one would have had to tell the convert-to-be to sever all relationships with the past religions.  Yet, in some cases, it is progress made while the convert was still associated with the previous religion that led to the decision to seek conversion, and so it would the convert could be Jewish without totally severing all these connections.

It is not easy to guide a person in this kind of conversion.  One takes a great deal of karmic responsibility in all kinds of conversion and in this case even greater responsibility is warranted.

Conclusion

As I stated above, please keep in mind that I have brought these issues to your attention because they are serious ones.  These words are a part of what I consider to be my ethical will and summation of my life and work.

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3 Responses to “Reb Zalman On Conversion And Renewal”

  1. Jeremy Says:

    When someone like R’ Zalman says something like this, you know it’s serious business…

    I grew up with people who’s Jewish identity and acceptance was one big confused mess as a result of ‘conversions’ performed by people who just didn’t give proper consideration to the legal, spiritual and national consequences of their decisions.

    God bless Reb Zalman, and his derech in Ahavat Hashem and Ahavat Habriyot!

  2. Lana Says:

    Thank you, Reb Zalman, for this incredibly comprehensive, insightful, and compassionate treatment of the subject of conversion. G-d bless.

  3. Emma Says:

    I appreciate Reb Zalman so much, and I deeply needed to read these words. I started down the conversion path, but took time away because the rabbi I was working with was not a good fit for how I feel Judaism and G.d in my heart. I took a lot of time just participating in Jewish life and culture with my Jewish fiancé and friends because I wanted to make sure this was right for me…but the vibrant joy I’d felt was dimming, and the connection with G.d I had been desperately searching for since early childhood—something I’d finally started to feel with Judaism—was not the same. It was still there, but just different.

    Since my time away from a focused practice towards conversion, I’ve been speaking often with my friend studying to be a chazzan. He directed me to Jewish Renewal, and after reading and listening to Reb Zalman that yearning feeling in my chest came back tenfold. After reading this I know that me and my eventual children are supposed to be gerim tzedek. I’m supposed to be living in a Jewish house.

    I’m posting this on a Friday evening before it gets dark, so Shabbat shalom to anyone reading this! Thank G.d for letting me know where my heart is supposed to be!

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